Bull River Campground (Noxon, MT)
I took a drive east down highway 200 just to make sure I was not missing out on any great campgrounds nearby. I was not. The only one I found was 15 miles away on a riverwith about 10 sites at a price of $6 each. There was a sign up welcoming the participants in the Tri-state bass fishing (or kissing?) contest. The campground and boat trailer parking were both full. I stopped by the Noxon Mercantile and got a few more supplies after crossing the one lane bridge over the river.
I read a little of one of my new used books with only a slight interruption of a concerned dog owner repeating "bandit come here" to a dog that was barking at a little 3 year old girl 200 feet away. Finally, his wife walked the 200 yards carrying their 10 month old baby to retrieve the dog. I should do a story about what seem to me to be the non-sensical things dog owners do.
The same dog owners had set some kind of traps in the river near my camp. Traps for what, I don't know. I took a ride on my bike down to Noxon and around the lake. About 16 miles round trip in two hours.
Both the lake and river had been smooth as glass much of my stay and the fish were jumping all over most of the evening. I got some great mirror pictures that make it hard to tell what is the reflection and what is real. I took some upside down just to confuse myself.
I started to feel like the last wheel is slowing down ready to fall into place. It seems like I will probably try to find a short term residence in Montana and go from there. Maybe do some writing or at least make a practice run of living in the area to get an idea of the pitfalls. Who knows what I will do.
I spent the afternoon reading, working on web pages, and observing my neighbors: a precocious 3 year old girl, 12 year old girl, 13 year old boy and late-30s mother. The teens seem to be taking good care of the girl and the camp while the mother was getting some rest. They took her down to the swimming area and she lost her flip-flop running back as fast as she could to tell "momma" about the good time they had.
One of my early crushing memories was coming back from the swimming hole our first summer out London and at the age of eight exclaiming, "I am having the best time of my life." I rightfully got some flack for making such a broad statement at such an early age. I got the wrong message though and for as long as I can remember I have reminded myself not to be so exuberant about life. Now, when I see the innocent exuberance of children over the pleasant times, I get nostalgic for the times that I was capable of letting go of thoughts of future painful realities long enough to enjoy the moment.
The Big D started showing up a little. I put on "Brilliant light" and listened to it about 10 times. Obsession is great if you are an analyst trying to solve a problem. Not so great if you are a D person with sad thoughts.
JW has a song "The Good Wife." "Now I know I'll never be a mother. Now I know I'd make a bad wife." If someone had those as goals (or the corresponding goals for the opposite gender) and came to a point where they knew they could not reach them, it would be understandably upsetting. What about someone that had planned their life to ensure those were not their goals, had a brief stint of trying to achieve those goals in spite of their previous history, went back to the original plan, then came to the same conclusion JW did, i.e. there was no turning back from the original plan now.
Every time I would look around the campground I felt real comfortable at Bull River. The weather was also comfortable. Things are starting to click a little. I am thinking I will head back to the Polson area and see what I can find that I like. Tomorrow is another day I will have to find a place to stay. If I get a motel early, I may get to watch the NASCAR race tomorrow being Sunday.