Astoria (Second Day)
Next I tried Fred Meyer's for my camera disk. All they had were the older technology disks, but the salesman did mention a cameraq outfit in town that might have it. I checked my email in the library and looked for camera stores in the yellow pages. I got the address and found the store a few blocks away.
This was your typical small town specialty store with a single proprietor and three helpers that, although I am sure had been working there for 20 years, had to have the owner answer all customer questions. After looking in half a dozen places the owner found the one and only disk he had that woiuld work in my camera.
I then told him and his crew the rest of the story on why I needed a disk. They all assured me the problem was more likely my camera than the disk. In that case, I suggested they test my disk in a similar camera. The one camera they had that it would work in had dead batteries, but if I would return in a couple of hours they would have it charged up. Just as I was suggesting we could try the new one in my camera before I bought it the owner dismissed me for a higher priority call and I was left with the underlings not empowered to make a decision. By now it was 3pm, I said I would return by 5pm to test my disk in their charged camera.
I drove out to Fort Stevens State Park since I was considering staying there for the night. A KOA was across the street so out of curiosity I checked their rates, $23 vs $19 at the park. The dozen or so tent sites in the park were crowded in a small area with no restrooms in sight. I decided this was not for me. I am noticing that tent camping has fallen out of favor and now RV camping is preferred or even Yurt camping. There have been Yurt spaces, RV Spaces, Hiking/ Biking Spaces at every state park I have visited (even those in Washington). I cannot say the same for tent spaces. One park went so far as to have all of the above and Horse camping space, but no Tent spaces.
I returned to the shop at 4:45 pm to find the owner scurrying about looking for his head. I asked how the camera charging was coming and he said they were still looking for the cable. I wondered if I was being scammed by the famous small town feigned ignorance.
I said I would take the disk anyway and then had to show him where he had returned it to its shelf. He swiped my card then informed me it would be a while because one phone line was tied up with the internet and the other was being used for a call. I asked if I could try the disk in my camera before buying. He said, "where is your camera." I pulled it out of my pocket, he opened the disk container, I put the disk in my camera and it worked. Joy!
We completed our transaction and I headed for Cape Lookout. A feeling of relief and depression came over me. I had removed all pressures from my life. I gave up the bicycle idea and was free to relax on the coast. There was no pressure to get to anywhere at anytime.
I must say the feelings I had were very cathartic, reminiscent of my last "sabbatical" where I made it 11 miles in my attemp to walk across the United States. My percent completion had improved, roughly 10% vs 1/3 of 1%. Feelings of being a failure and a quitter swept over me. I wondered how many points do you really get for trying? I have quit everything I've tried really, using the excuse that no one would fire me.
I think I have been a success though, a success at succeeding while avoiding being part of any community. Yes I have a great family with mature relationships and have made some great friends with mature relationships, but still I keep everyone at arms length. I certainly would not say I was part of the defense community or software community at my last job. I was just there and enjoyed working without getting involved in the community.
I have theorized about needing to figuratively die and be reborn every few years. I am going through that process now. I wonder if I will be reincarnated as someone who is active in a community or will reamin the lone wolf. In my job search, it is very apparent that unless you are part of a community or willing to join, it is difficult to get a good job.